What is love?

Sometimes as humans we get confused about what it means to love. We say things like, "My girlfriend is so hot, I love her!" OR "I don't know what happened, I just fell out of love with my spouse." The real truth is that a lot of people don't know how to really love. They think that love is that gushy feeling you get when you look at someone and just have to have them. Or that love is when you just have to be around someone because you have so much fun with them. Real love may have these aspects sometimes, but it endures without them. There are some really beautiful verses in the bible that talk about what it means to really love. It starts off with some of my favorite verses...

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Before I came to know God, love always felt empty to me. It was always contingent on something. I always thought...I love this person because of this or that NOT that I love this person because God created them. Now, obviously, the love you have for a spouse exceeds this neighborly love because you don't make an "until death do you part" vow with everyone. So, I think it's also good to see what the bible says about the love that husbands and wives should have for each other.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body.
31. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I know that some women could read this who are not followers of Christ and think it is ridiculous that women should submit to their husbands, but if you take the whole thing together it is easier to understand what is being said. If you have a husband that loves you "as Christ loved the church" that means that you have a husband that is willing to die for you. That means that you have a husband that knows you inside and out and does not want something for you that does not honor you. That means that you have a husband that is willing to put you ahead of himself. If all this is true, it is not difficult to submit to him because he has your best interests in mind. From what I know of men (which I still have a lot to learn) being respected and valued goes a long way. When a man has a wife who lifts him up and tells him how proud she is to have him as her husband and values his opinions, it is way easier for him to honor her and lift her up.

So, is this an easy kind of love? No, not really. I personally think that it is almost impossible without Christ to guide us. I know that I personally have a natural tendency to be selfish, manipulative, and distant when I get angry or upset. I don't want to hear the truth about myself when I am doing the wrong thing. I want to be able to keep thinking that I am right at all costs even if it means that someone else has to be the scapegoat for my flaws. Robert can be cold and hard-headed when he feels backed into a corner. He sometimes decides not to listen or value the opinions of others when he feels like he isn't being respected. We both come into our marriage with baggage from the past. We both have areas where we continue to struggle, where we need to grow, where we need to lift each other up. That is the beauty of a Christ-centered marriage though. When we listen to Him, He guides us to do the right thing. He whispers to us to stop and listen when we don't want to hear. He opens our eyes to the other's hurt when all we want to see is what we think of as injustices to ourselves. He shows us our shortcomings so that we can come to His thrown on our knees and ask Him to forgive us because we really don't know what we are doing. He then gives us the strength to go back and love the way He has asked us to...which is giving ourselves completely over to each other and to Christ who strengthens us.

The thing is, this is always a choice that has to be made. It isn't what comes naturally. We naturally want to be selfish. We naturally want our own way. We naturally want to think that we are always right. We have to choose to listen. We have to choose to honor and respect. We have to choose to love even when it's hard, even when we feel like turning and running the other way. Only then can we finally feel the fullness of what REAL love is and it is anything but empty. I can honestly say that since I have become a follower of Christ, love is amazing!

Christs love for Robert and I is something that I never could have imagined. It is a love that has taken away my fear of death because if Christ died for me and I am assured eternal life with Him then anything that I have to endure in this life is only temporary. Everything is a lot less scary when you know it is only temporary. This is why you may have heard people say that once they became a Christian they felt free for the first time in their lives. Also, there have been so many times that we have been blessed by doing what God asked us to do. So, when you hear people say they are slaves to Christ, it really isn't a bad thing. Doing what he asks almost always brings some sort of blessing...even if it is painful, hard, or ends in death.

Robert and I have also been able to love each other more fully. When there is honesty, trust, and forgiveness coupled with Christs love in a marriage it makes that marriage so much stronger. It makes it easier to go through hard times and struggles. It makes it easier to see that person as Christ sees them. I know that when I look at Robert with that kind of love I am incredibly blessed. I have a husband who values me and makes me feel beautiful even when I am at my worst. I have a husband who is willing to do anything for me even when I'm selfish. I have a husband who puts me ahead of himself even when he would rather be doing something else. At my best, he has a wife who looks at him as her champion even when he feels small. Who thinks there is nothing he can't do even when he thinks he can't do anymore. Who thinks he is the greatest gift of her life even when he is unsure of himself. Together, we have a God who loves us more than either of us could have ever even tried to dream up.

Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

39 weeks and counting...

I thought I was big at 8 months, but that was nothing!

Baby Room Stuff...

I have been working on Elijah's room. A friend of mine helped me make his quilt and we are still working on the crib skirt. For the mural, I still have a long way to go. I have lots of animals and foliage to add. Robert and I just went and picked out the rug last week, which I think is super cute. It's all coming together. I still have to put the fabric on the wall with the trim under the mural, but wanted to finish painting first so it didn't accidentally get on the fabric. So, here it is so far.