So, I have had this struggle my whole life. I eat. I love food and consume it in the worst possible ways. I have sneaked it, hid it, and lied about it. It really has been my bane. I believe the battle began when I was about 7 or 8 years old and has been raging on ever since. At 10, I went to Weight Watchers for the first time, I followed that up with Deal-a-meal, the OA diet, Fit for Life, Susan Summers Diet, Weight Watchers again, Vegetarianism, Fasting, Fasting with prayer, the Daniel Fast...and the list goes on. I have given it to God time and time again and ran and snatched it from his hands just as many times...sometimes even before I completely handed it over. It is the thing I love to hate and the biggest of Satan's lies that I regularly give ear to.
Isaiah 44:20 in the NLV says, "The poor, deluded fool feeds on ashes. He is trusting something that can give him no help at all. Yet he cannot bring himself to ask, "Is this thing, this idol that I'm holding in my hand, a lie?"
From the first time I read that verse, I loved it. It was last year during my Beth Moore "Breaking Free" bible study. She was talking about all the things that we make important in our lives that have absolutely no value or devalue us. Like buying a fancy car that you can't afford and then not being able to put food on your table. You look good to passer's by, but you are really starving and broke. For me, it's the food. I believe that it will satisfy me, make me feel good, and have fun. Then I get fat, can't do the things I want, and feel horrible. In John 8:31-32 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, "You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
I can vouch for this in many areas of my life, but still struggle with this one. The problem is that I KNOW the truth but am still holding onto my cupcake like Gollum with his ring. I don't want to let it weigh me down and end up dragging me into that pit, but every time Satan tells me how delicious something is going to be I bite...all the while choosing to block out what I know to be true. So I'm praying for an all out intervention...deliverance if you will. I'm tired of the fight, but also tired of giving in. I want this to be something that God has power over in my life and to stop telling him, "no, no, no...that's mine!" Because REALLY...no, no, no it's His and so am I. I can't stand with one hand willing to give Him everything and the other hand hanging onto the refrigerator door. Because "If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." Mark 3:25 NIV
Here is the rest of the verses surrounding the earlier verse from Isaiah to read it in context if you want. I love this because it is so..."oh my goodness, well obviously, duh!"
Isaiah 44:14 "He cut down cedars, or perhaps took a cypress or oak. He let it grow among the trees of the forest, or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow. 15 It is man's fuel for burning; some of it he takes and warms himself, he kindles a fire and bakes bread. But he also fashions a god and worships it; he makes an idol and bows down to it. 16 Half of the wood he burns in the fire; over it he prepares his meal, he roasts his meat and eats his fill. He also warms himself and says, "Ah! I am warm; I see the fire." 17 From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, "Save me; you are my god." 18 They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand. 19 No one stops to think, no one has the knowledge or understanding to say, "Half of it I used for fuel; I even baked bread over its coals, I roasted meat and I ate. Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left? Shall I bow down to a block of wood?" 20 He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, "Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?" 21 "Remember these things, O Jacob, for you are my servant, O Israel. I have made you, you are my servant; O Israel, I will not forget you."
http://www.biblestudytools.com/isaiah/44.html
